What You Missed While Not Watching the Last South Carolina GOP Debate (Time.com)

0 minutes. The CNN spaceship is set to launch, with blue gels on the lights that give the auditorium an alien aquarium vibe. It's the 17th GOP debate of 2012 cycle. Roll the intro montage: "Welcome to the South, the heart of the Republican Party," says the hokey disembodied voice, doing his best imitation of a Stephen Colbert send up, "where tradition lives and values matter." What? Do Iowa and New Hampshire not care about tradition and values? Nonsense. But we push on. We are veterans. We have learned to let the silly slide.

2 minutes. Each candidate gets a shout out. Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney is "the frontrunner." Texas Rep. Ron Paul is "the insurgent." Rick Santorum has "renewed momentum," though recent polls show it is in the wrong direction. Newt Gingrich is "on the rise." Then each of the men take the stage with their variation of a high school dweeb strut. Romney is third, and the most talkative. "Hi guys," he says to the others. "Newt," he says shaking Gingrich's hand. "Ha ha," he says, because perhaps it is funny to be shaking Gingrich's hand. "And then there were four," he adds, because that is all that remain. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the Final Iowa Debate.")

5 minutes. CNN pomp is unending, as usual. After Twitter and Facebook mentions, some military cadets sing the national anthem. The crowd turns to a flat-screen projection of Old Glory. "That was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous," CNN host John King says afterward. One day the debate will start. Then he asks the candidates to make short opening statements. For those who speak Republican, this means brag about your brood.

7 minutes. Santorum begins, noting his "wife Karen and our seven children." He also thanks Iowa "for a little delayed but most welcome victory there." Romney beats Santorum, not in Iowa, but in brood count. "I'm married now 42 years. I have five sons, five daughters-in-law, 16 grandkids, and they're the joy of my life." The married-a-long-time thing is a knock on thrice-married Gingrich, though Romney would probably swear to his grave that this is not true. Gingrich eschews brood stats for geographic pandering. "As a Georgian, it feels good to be back at home in the South," he says. Paul mentions that he has been elected to Congress 12 times, 30 years as an obstetrician, and "I'm the only U.S. veteran on this stage tonight." (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the GOP National-Security Debate.")

9 minutes. Finally a question, and it's a doozy. Would Gingrich like to respond to his second wife's claim that he wanted an open marriage more than a decade ago? "No, but I will," he says, looking ornery. The crowd likes his attitude. "I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that." The crowd is on its feet applauding. "To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary a significant question for a presidential campaign is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine." The place is going nuts. Gingrich goes on for a while. Then he adds, as if it no longer matters, "The story is false."

11 minutes. Gingrich is still going. "I am tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama by attacking Republicans." A second standing ovation. If being President only required an ability to rile the public into rage against the press, America wouldn't need an election. There would be a coronation.

12 minutes. King asks Santorum if this open marriage/mistress stuff is an issue. Santorum says yes, as softly as he can. "These are issues of our lives and what we did in our lives," he says. "They are issues of character for people to consider."

13 minutes. Romney won't go there. "John, let's get on to the real issues is all I've got to say." The crowd likes that too.

14 minutes. Paul uses his turn at the Gingrich mistress plate to say media corporations are bad. "What about the corporations that run the media?" he asks, before joining in the media's attack by adding apropos of nothing in particular that he has been married 54 years.

15 minutes. New topic. Unemployment. Name three things you would do to help reduce it. Paul says "sound currency," less regulations and near-zero income taxes. Gingrich says repeal Dodd-Frank, increase domestic oil and gas exploration, and radically overhaul the Corps of Engineers.

18 minutes. King follows up by asking Gingrich to attack Romney for his work at Bain Capital. Gingrich indulges, describing "Bain Capital's model, which was to take over a company and dramatically leverage it, leave it with a great deal of debt, made it less likely to survive."

19 minutes. Romney is asked to respond, and attacks Obama. "You've got to stop the spread of crony capitalism. He gives General Motors to the UAW. He takes $500 million and sticks it into Solyndra. He -- he stacks the labor stooges on the NLRB so they can say no to Boeing and take care of their friends in the labor movement," he says. The crowd rewards the Obama bashing with applause.

20 minutes. King persists on Bain, asking Romney to explain how he comes up with the figure of 120,000 jobs created at the firm. Romney says that is what four companies he started now employ. "I'm someone who believes in free enterprise," he continues. "I think Adam Smith was right. And I'm going to stand and defend capitalism across this country, throughout this campaign." Then he turns it up a notch. "I know we're going to get hit hard from President Obama, but we're going to stuff it down his throat and point out it is capitalism and freedom that makes America strong." The foie gras attack.

22 minutes. Santorum distinguishes between regular capitalism and the "high finance" of Romney. "We need a party that just doesn't talk about high finance and cutting corporate taxes or cutting the top tax rates," Santorum says. "We need to talk about how we're going to put men and women in this country, who built this country, back to work in this country in the manufacturing sector of our economy." He's the Joe Biden of the GOP. Pure Scranton.

24 minutes. Talk about the challenges faced by returning military veterans. Everyone on stage is concerned. Paul says he worries about the high rate of suicide. Santorum says there should be job preferences. Romney says he wants the states to do much of the work. Gingrich says cut taxes and help veterans with a program like the G.I. Bill after World War II.

31 minutes. Question on ObamaCare. Romney says repeal it and replace it with something "like a market, a consumer market, as opposed to have it run like Amtrak and the post office." This is not an accurate description of how ObamaCare works, but let it slide. Move on. Gingrich says he'd "repeal all of it because I so deeply distrust the congressional staffs that I would not want them to be able to pick and choose which things they cut." By this logic, congressional staff would never get to do any legislating. But let it slide. Move on. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the CNBC 'Oops' Republican Debate.")

35 minutes. Santorum uses this opportunity to attack both Romney and Gingrich for once supporting the individual mandate in ObamaCare. He calls Romney's health reforms in Massachusetts "an abject disaster." Romney objects. "First of all, the system in my state is not a government-run system," he says. This is true, but it is kind of funny to hear Romney say it, since he just mischaracterized ObamaCare as a "government-run system." Let it slide. Move on.

39 minutes. They go back and forth for a while, covering old ground. At one point, Romney does another "Ha ha," to express condescension at the attacks on him. When it comes around to Gingrich, he changes the subject by saying, again, that he wants 3-hour debates with Obama. "I will let him use a teleprompter. I would just rely on knowledge. We'll do fine." A real crowd-pleaser that Gingrich.

42 minutes. After more needling from Santorum, Gingrich admits he was wrong about the individual mandate.

43 minutes. Paul finally gets a chance to talk again. He says government should not be involved in medicine. Then he pivots to a discussion about why U.S. military bases overseas are bad, as are recent military adventures.

45 minutes. That brings us to the first break. Before cutting to commercial, King says Gingrich has released his tax returns while the candidates have been on stage. Nice trick. Can we expect gimics like this in future debates?

49 minutes. We're back. King promptly gets Gingrich and Santorum fighting again. "Grandiosity has never been a problem with Newt Gingrich," Santorum says. "I don't want a nominee that I have to worry about going out and looking at the paper the next day and worrying about what he's going to say next." That is a line taken almost word-for-word from the Romney campaign. Then Santorum says he finished ahead of Gingrich in New Hampshire, which is not true. Gingrich got 49 more votes. Nonetheless, Santorum accuses Gingrich of having "not cogent thoughts."

53 minutes. Gingrich responds by listing pretty much everything good that happened during his two decade run in the U.S. House. Then he says, "I think grandiose thoughts. This is a grandiose country of big people doing big things." Applause of course. More tit for tat follows. But no more fancy words like grandiose.

56 minutes. Romney tries to chime in by saying that this squabbling just shows he's the outsider who can fix Washington. But Romney does it really awkwardly, describing himself as someone "who's lived in the real streets of America." Not clear if he is referring to the old family mansion in Belmont, Mass., or the beach house in La Jolla, Calif., or the Deer Valley, Utah, lodge he once owned. Or maybe another "real street" he has yet to disclose. In the middle of the answer, Romney gets lost. Then he finds his way, and attacks Gingrich for not really having as much to do with Ronald Reagan as he claims. "You're mentioned once in Ronald Reagan's diary," Romney says.

58 minutes. Gingrich shoots back. "You did very well under the rules that we created to make it easier for entrepreneurs to go out and do things," he says to Romney. "I don't recall a single day saying, 'Oh, thank heavens Washington is there for me,'" Romney responds.

59 minutes. Question for Paul. Will he release his tax returns? "I'd probably be embarrassed to put my financial statement up against their income," he jokes of the others on the stage.

60 minutes. Romney cleans up his big mistake from the last debate, and says he will release his tax returns in April. Then, as he always does when uncomfortable, he attacks Obama. "You've got a President who's played 90 rounds of golf while there are 25 million Americans out of work," Romney says.

63 minutes. Santorum says he will release his returns as soon as he gets home and prints them off his computer.

64 minutes. King asks Romney if he will release 12 years of his tax returns, like his father George Romney did when he ran in 1968. Romney smiles at the mention of his father, but doesn't answer the question. "Maybe," he says, as the crowd starts to boo. "You know, I don't know how many years I'll release."

66 minutes. King asks a question premised on the fact that the best example of American corporate success at the moment, Apple Inc., has 500,000 employees in China and much fewer in the United States. This allows Santorum to get another Joe Biden riff going about revitalizing American manufacturing. Paul sees the question as an opportunity to deliver an economics lesson on the benefits of trade. Then Paul and Santorum bicker about Santorum's one-time aversion to a national right-to-work bill.

71 minutes. King asks a question about the recent bills in Congress that would put new restrictions on websites to protect intellectual property. He also discloses that CNN's parent company, Time Warner, which is also TIME's parent company, is a big supporter of these bills. The mention of the corporate monster responsible for The Hangover II and Harry Potter VII earns lots of boos from the crowd. "You're asking a conservative about the economic interests of Hollywood," Gingrich jokes. Bottom line, Romney, Gingrich and Paul are against the bills. Santorum is against the bills as well, but more eager to find some new rules to further protect intellectual property. "Where in America does it say that anything goes?" Santorum asks. There are some places, but Santorum has probably never been to them.

76 minutes. Break number two. Say what you want about the evils of Time Warner, but at least it allows CNN to go light on the commercial breaks.

78 minutes. We're back. No we're not. Another commercial break. Ignore the corporate backscratching at minute 76. Another movie made by Time Warner: Cats and Dogs -- The Revenge of Kitty Galore.

81 minutes. Back for real this time. The candidates are asked for one thing they would do over in the campaign. Gingrich says he would skip the first three months of the campaign when he "hired regular consultants and tried to figure how to be a normal candidate." Romney jokes that he would "get 25 more votes in Iowa." That's funny. Then Romney adds, "I guess I also would go back and take every moment I spent talking about one of the guys on the stage and spend that time talking about Barack Obama." This is disingenuous, but on message, and thus an apt summary of Romney's apparent strength and weakness. (As Romney says it, his campaign is blitzing reporters with more anti-Gingrich agitprop by e-mail.) Paul and Santorum can't think of anything they would do differently.

84 minutes. Immigration time. Same as before. Build a fence. Etc. Just look through previous "What You Missed" summaries to get the idea.

95 minutes. Abortion time. Gingrich attacks Romney for changing his mind on the issue. "Governor Romney has said that he had a experience in a lab and became pro-life, and I accept that," Gingrich says. Experience in a lab. Priceless. Then Gingrich says that Romney still appointed pro-choice judges, and still allowed for Planned Parenthood to benefit from his state health reforms. Santorum piles on, saying the country needs a pro-life crusader, not just a pro-life politician. It's like a tag team. At one point Gingrich even says, "I'll yield to Senator Santorum." Romney defends himself by pointing out that he had little choice, given the state he was in, and says he really is pro-life.

103 minutes. Paul finally gets a chance to speak again. He gets into a spat with Santorum about his own pro-life record. Paul calls abortion "a violent act" that should be handled by state, not federal, law; Santorum disagrees. At one point, Paul says to Santorum, "You are overly sensitive."

107 minutes. Final break.

111 minutes. We're back. King asks for closing arguments. Paul talks about liberty. Gingrich talks about certain doom if Obama is reelected, and suggests he is the only person who can defeat Obama. Romney lapses into his stump speech, quoting from the Declaration of Independence, and whatnot. Santorum argues that you need a conservative who will draw a sharp contrast with Obama. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the Las Vegas GOP Debate.")

118 minutes. "That concludes our debate this evening," says King. And so it does. Four candidates still remain. No one knows how many more Republican debates are left. Should they go the way of that one pizza guy, they too won't be missed.

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What You Missed While Not Watching the Weekend's New Hampshire GOP Debates (Time.com)

-6 minutes. At St. Anselm College, ABC News asks former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman to come on stage first. Texas Gov. Rick Perry peeks from behind the curtain instead, followed by the others. Huntsman is last out. Typical. This is not a good sign. Reality shows end with the big double-episode season finales, so the GOP has scheduled back-to-back debates the weekend before the New Hampshire primary, with a 10-hour delay in the middle. There is a long way to go.

0 minutes. The opening montage sets the scene: "Can anybody overcome former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney?" says the voiceover. This is the question of the day. "Tonight we put them all to the test."

2 minutes. But the test is really easy. The first question for Romney: "We just saw 200,000 new jobs created last month, and there are optimists who say this is the signal that this economy is finally turning around. Are you with those optimists?" This is like asking a veterinarian if puppies are cute. "I'm an optimist," says Romney, before pivoting to his stump speech. Barack Obama is bad, etc.

4 minutes. Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum is prodded to repeat his claim that the country does not need a manager or CEO like Romney as President. Santorum does, saying he is better because he "managed major pieces of legislation through the House and through the Senate." Catch that? Santorum is a manager too, for just about the only institution less popular than corporations: Congress. Woo. Yipee. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the Final Iowa Debate.")

5 minutes. Romney's tie is covered with a pattern of fish hooks. Not clear why. But he doesn't let Santorum snag him. Romney's response has the words "lead" or "leadership" seven times.

7 minutes. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich gets a turn to hook a Romney catch. He is asked about a video being hocked by a super PAC supporting him that calls Romney's business record "a story of greed." Gingrich won't attack. He says people should watch the video and read recent coverage critical of Romney in the New York Times. "If it's factually accurate, it raises questions." For the first time in 14 debates, Gingrich is not pretending to know more than everyone else. Suspicious.

8 minutes. Romney says that "net-net" his work at Bain Capital produced more jobs than it destroyed. Definitely a fishing theme here.

10 minutes. Huntsman gets to take the test. Another softball. "Should Republicans worry" about the attacks on Romney's business record? It's a perfect set up. But Huntsman can't swing. He reverts to the passive voice. "Well, it's part of his record, and therefore, it's going to be talked about," Huntsman says, before going on about his own "private sector experience."

12 minutes. This gives Romney another chance to repeat his stump speech about how he is good, the private sector is good, and Obama is bad. Debate prep must have been simple for Romney. Think Pavlov's dog. Whatever they say, you just repeat your stump speech. Bell rings, stump speech. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Stump speech.

13 minutes. The moderators give up on hooking big fish Romney. They ask Texas Rep. Ron Paul to attack Santorum again for being "a corrupt corporate lobbyist, a Washington insider with a record of betrayal," which Paul has said before, and says again. So begins a five-minute spat between the two men, which does not matter.

15 minutes. Santorum is not wearing enough makeup. His forehead is shiny.

17 minutes. Perry is still running for President, and he weighs in with a well-constructed answer about his opposition to Washington and how he is separated from the rest of the field. It is exactly the kind of answer he needed to give ten debates ago, when huge numbers of people still wanted to believe in him. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the GOP National-Security Debate.")

20 minutes. Huntsman is asked why he would be a better commander in chief than others on the stage. He says the word "gobbledygook." That is the only part of his answer that is memorable. The rest is a bunch of canned lines, like "Leadership matters to the American people."

21 minutes. Desperate to return to the test, the moderator asks, "Do you want to speak specifically about anybody on the stage?" "They can all speak for themselves," says Huntsman, who is now apparently running for a cabinet secretary post in the Romney administration.

22 minutes. "Governor Romney?" asks ABC's Diane Sawyer. Romney accurately points out that this is not really a question. So Sawyer asks him a question. But the question does not matter, because all Romney hears is the bell ringing. "Look," says Romney, "this is a failed presidency."

25 minutes. Perry is asked if it matters that he has served in the military, while others have not. The answer is basically yes. Then Paul and Gingrich start arguing about whether Gingrich is a "chicken hawk" for never having served. "The fact is, I never asked for deferment. I was married with a child. It was never a question," says Gingrich of the Vietnam War. "When I was drafted, I was married and had two kids, and I went," says Paul. "I wasn't eligible for the draft," Gingrich responds. Different ages. Different wars. Different rules.

30 minutes. Paul is asked about the old racist newsletter he used to publish. Paul says he didn't write the newsletter, and that he loves Martin Luther King, Jr. "He practiced the libertarian principle of peaceful resistance and peaceful civil disobedience, as did Rosa Parks," says Paul. Paul did vote to establish Martin Luther King Day. His newsletter called it "Hate whitey day."

32 minutes. With that, a commercial break. Remember. This is a double feature. A long way to go. If you pop the popcorn now, it will be stale at the end. So far, Romney's ding-a-ling strategy is dominant.

38 minutes. Clearly desperate, moderator George Stephanopoulos swings for the fences. He asks Romney if the Supreme Court should be able to ban adults from using contraception, given Romney's refusal to embrace the right to privacy that outlaws bans on abortions. It's a head scratcher, dating to a court case you probably never heard about. Romney realizes that this is not just any ringing bell. So he refuses to answer. "George, this is an unusual topic that you're raising," he says. Then Romney utters one of the coolest quotes from any of the debates. "Contraception. It's working just fine. Just leave it alone." Put it in a position paper. Enshrine it in the party platform. It even fits on a bumper sticker.

43 minutes. Working contraception somehow logically leads to same sex relationships. The candidates must deal. Gingrich says he would give the rights that "are most intimately human between friends" to gay couples, like hospital visitation. But no marriage. Huntsman says he likes civil unions, and is "glad we are off the contraception discussion." Santorum says he opposes gay couples adopting children, but that should be a state issue, unlike marriage which should be a federal issue. Santorum also says he wants to nullify the gay marriages that have occurred. Sawyer prompts Romney to address the subject "in human terms." He says gays should be able to have "a contractual relationship" short of marriage. For Romney, contracts are very human. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the CNBC 'Oops' Republican Debate.")

51 minutes. Stephanopoulos breaks the gay spell by asking Paul if he will commit to supporting the GOP nominee, or run as a third party candidate. Paul says he has no plans, but his options are open.

54 minutes. Huntsman says he would draw down the troops in Afghanistan in his first year as President. Romney says he would listen to "the commanders on the ground" and bring the troops home as soon as possible. History is at work. Romney's father, George, who lost his 1968 campaign for President after he questioned the judgment of the commanders on the ground in Vietnam. Mitt won't make same mistake.

56 minutes. Huntsman notices, goes George Romney in a big way. "But we also deferred to the commanders on the ground in about 1967, during the Vietnam War, and we didn't get very good advice then." Romney lets it pass.

57 minutes. Gingrich says "fundamentally" for perhaps the first time tonight. He calls for "a fundamentally new strategy in the region," but he has no time to elaborate. Santorum says he would stay as long as it took. Perry says he would send U.S. troops back into Iraq right away. "We're going to see Iran, in my opinion, move back in at literally the speed of light," Perry says, endowing the Iranians with physics-defying abilities that would make a nuclear weapon irrelevant.

66 minutes. Break. Still way too early to pop popcorn. Remember. This one will literally take 14 hours to finish.

72 minutes. We're back. Romney says he wants to rebuild aging infrastructure, which sounds almost like he agrees with Obama. So he adds that he is against "President Obama's social welfare state."

75 minutes. Gingrich agrees. More talk of infrastructure. Then talk of taxation. No new ground. Moderators try and fail to get something started. Paul says stuff like "Restore America to our freedoms." Romney says stuff like, "The people that have been hurt in the Obama economy are the people in the middle-class." Huntsman says, "We've got to stimulate some confidence in the creative class of this country." Perry says, "They want Washington out of their hair." It's like those individually packaged, low-calorie snacks they market to overweight, middle-aged office workers -- looks like chocolate, tastes like Styrofoam.

85 minutes. Romney notices that everyone is falling asleep. He interprets this as a bell. "The real issue is the vision for this country," he says. "This election is about the soul of America." Give him a bone. This passes for passing the test.

87 minutes. Gingrich is jolted to life. He cites the Wall Street Journal editorial board and calls Romney timid and more like Obama. "I do think there's a difference between a bold Reagan conservative model and a more establishment model that is a little more cautious about taking the kind of changes we need." This falls short of memorable. (See "What You Missed While Not Watching the Las Vegas GOP Debate.")

88 minutes. Santorum tries to come to life. He agrees that Romney is not bold, then objects to Romney's use of the phrase "middle class." "There are no classes in America. We are a country that don't allow for titles. We don't put people in classes," he says. None of this is true. But at least Santorum is trying.

89 minutes. Romney puts everyone back under his fishy spell. "This is really a campaign about the direction of the country," he says. Ding-a-ling.

91 minutes. Huntsman gets a question about what he would do in China, and like at other debates, he responds by saying it's a really complicated issue. "It's nonsense to think you can slap a tariff on China the first day that you're in office, as Governor Romney would like to do," he adds.

92 minutes. For some reason the bell does not ring for Romney. So he hits back, which is dangerous. "I'm sorry, Governor, you were, the last two years, implementing the policies of this administration in China. The rest of us on this stage were doing our best to get Republicans elected across the country and stop the policies of this President from being put forward," he says.

93 minutes. Huntsman goes native, and responds in Mandarin Chinese to Romney. It is not a phrase that can be transcribed in English easily. It sounds like music, sung from a mouth full of eels. The crowd is stunned. It is as if Huntsman was suddenly taken over by the spirit, as if he spoke in tongues. He comes back though, says again that Romney is risking a trade war.

94 minutes. Romney says Huntsman is wrong, and the last thing China wants is a trade war. In English.

95 minutes. Cut to last commercial, pre-intermission.

100 minutes. The silly final question. Another softball. "It's Saturday night, again, as we meet, so if you weren't here running for President, Governor Perry, what would you be doing on a Saturday night?" "I'd probably be at the shooting range," says Perry, killing it. Then it goes downhill. "I'd be watching the college championship basketball game," says Gingrich. There is no such thing. "Football game," Gingrich corrects, but he is still wrong. That game will be played Monday. It is a train wreck, and Santorum piles on. "I'd be doing the same thing with my family. We'd be huddled around, and we'd be watching the championship game," he says, even though the game doesn't exist. Romney says, "I'm afraid it's football. I love it," but since the NFL is playing tonight, he may actually know what he is saying. Paul says, "I'd probably read an economic textbook." Lovable. Huntsman goes last, and panders big. "I'd be on the phone with my two boys in the United States Navy, because they're a constant reminder of what is great about this nation and awesome about the emerging generation in this country." Really, it's a pretty embarrassing way to go out for all involved.

104 minutes. That's it. So far, this has been a bust. None of it will make a difference. Romney's ding-a-ling training dominates. Now it is intermission time. See you in 616 minutes, when the next debate starts.

720 minutes. We're back, on a different network, in a different town, on a different date, with the same six guys at 9 a.m. As is his habit, NBC News' David Gregory is speaking in sentence fragments to introduce with punch. "Small state. Big impact on the race," he says. "The candidates, the issues and your questions." That last part is about Facebook, which has partnered with this part of the debate, promising that elusive silliness known as interactivity on a national scale. "Candidates, good morning," Gregory says. They all respond, in unison, "Good morning." Coffee seems to have done them good.

721 minutes. The last 617 minutes -- it's true no one sleeps on the campaign trail -- have been filled with pointed criticism of the non-Romney candidates for failing to leave a mark on the frontrunner. Gregory is here to give everyone another chance. "Speaker Gingrich, why shouldn't Governor Romney be the nominee of this party?"

722 minutes. Game on. "I think that a bold Reagan conservative, with a very strong economic plan, is a lot more likely to succeed in that campaign than a relatively timid, Massachusetts moderate who even the Wall Street Journal said had an economic plan so timid it resembled Obama," he says. Now Gingrich is saying it himself, not just pointing to what a newspaper said. Gregory doubles down: Is Romney electable? Now Gingrich loses his nerve. "No, I don't believe he's unelectable," he says, with a triple negatives. Then Gregory holds up a Gingrich campaign flier. "It says very clearly, 'Romney is not electable'" Gregory says. Gingrich is caught. "I think he will have a very hard time getting elected," he manages.

723 minutes. Romney gets his chance to respond. Ding-a-ling. "We created more jobs in Massachusetts than Barack Obama's created in the entire country," Romney says. It's a questionable statement. Millions of jobs have been created under Obama. It's just that more were lost in the beginning on Obama's term. Romney's figure is net-net, as he would say.

726 minutes. Santorum gets his chance to make up for last night. "We want someone, when the time gets tough -- and it will in this election -- we want someone who's going to stand up and fight for the conservative principles, not bail out and not run, and not run to the left of Ted Kennedy," Santorum says. Gregory points out that Santorum praised Romney's "conservative principles" in 2008. Santorum is caught.

728 minutes. Romney tries to respond. Santorum talks over him. Romney barks, "It's still. It's still my time." Finally, we have a real debate. They bicker for a while. Romney says he's not a Washington insider. And that he will run for reelection if he is elected President. Romney talks over his time.

729 minutes. This gives Gingrich an entry. "Mitt, I realize the red light doesn't mean anything to you, because you're the frontrunner," he says. The crowd delivers the first real applause of the night. Gingrich is feeling good. "Can we drop a little bit of the pious baloney?" Gingrich continues. "The fact is, you ran in '94 and lost. That's why you weren't serving in the Senate with Rick Santorum." This is true. But who ever thought that you could point this out with the words "pious baloney"?

731 minutes. Romney is swimming a little here. The Pavlovian training has failed him. He gets defensive. "Mr. Speaker, citizenship has always been on my mind and -- and I happened to see my dad run for governor when he was 54-years-old. He had good advice to me. He said, Mitt, never get involved in politics if you have to win an election to pay a mortgage," Romney says. At first this sounds like a strong statement. But it also suggests that only the wealthy should run for office. So it's a mistake.

732 minutes. Ron Paul comes to Romney's rescue, by talking about TARP and overseas spending and the horribleness of President Obama.

733 minutes. Perry piles on, but instead of going after Romney, he tries to swipe the entire stage. "I look from here down to Rick Santorum I see insiders," he says from one end of the stage.

734 minutes. Huntsman gets a question about spending. But he too has slept on last night's disappointment. He has a pre-packaged attack against Romney over the swipe about Huntsman serving in China for the Obama Administration. (See Minute 92.) "He criticized me while he was out raising money for serving my country in China, yes, under a Democrat, like my two sons are doing in the United States Navy. They're not asking who -- what political affiliation the President is," Huntsman says. "I want to be very clear with the people here in New Hampshire and this country: I will always put my country first." "Country First" is John McCain's old slogan. It has a good track record in New Hampshire.

735 minutes. Romney has totally forgotten about Pavlov, the dog, the bell, his game plan. He digs himself deeper. "I think we serve our country first by standing for people who believe in conservative principles and doing everything in our power to promote an agenda that does not include President Obama's agenda," says Romney. It's not a statement he really means, since it would basically prevent conservatives from joining the U.S. military to fight in Afghanistan under Obama.

736 minutes. Huntsman has his best moment in 15 debates: "This nation is divided, David, because of attitudes like that," he says to the moderator. Again the crowd erupts in un-Romney cheers. Romney does not respond. He needs to think about the bell.

738 minutes. A discussion commences about the various programs that should be cut to reduce spending. The candidates generally agree on entitlements. Perry gets to revisit his most famous flub, this time remembering the three departments -- commerce, energy and education -- he wants to eliminate. Santorum gets to talk about reducing food stamps.

743 minutes. Commercial break. Things are going well. Maybe all debates should be Sunday morning debates.

748 minutes. We're back. Gregory asks a trick question: "Who knows more about the American economy, Grover Norquist or Warren Buffet?" It's a trick because the right answer, Buffett, would offend conservatives. And the wrong answer, Norquist, would undermine Romney's businessman sales pitch. Romney reverts to the royal we. "I'm not sure that we're going to choose from the two of them," he says.

750 minutes. More miscellany. Huntsman says again he is interested in a balanced approach to deficit reduction, even though he raised his hand at his first debate months ago to suggest otherwise. Gingrich talks about Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid. Romney brags about the Democratic legislature he found a way to get along with in Massachusetts. Paul defends his record in Congress of hardly ever getting anything done. Then Paul and Santorum get into another one of their periodic spats. Huntsman says he will restore trust in the country. Perry repeats that Republicans spent to much money during the Bush years. It is as if all the past debates had been put into a blender and spit back out.

762 minutes. Second commercial break. Now would be a great time to pop that popcorn.

765 minutes. A question about reductions in federal subsidies for home heating oil. Huntsman says it's a real issue. Paul doesn't want the government giving anyone cheap oil. Romney splits the baby and says send the money that is left to the states to better use it.

770 minutes. Gay time. Romney is asked about his 1994 promise to be a "voice in the Republican Party to foster anti-discrimination efforts." Romney says he has appointed lots of gay people to positions in Massachusetts. Then Santorum gets a couple questions, including one about what he would do if his son said he was gay. "I would love him as much as I did the second before he said it," Santorum says. "And I would try to do everything I can to be as good a father to him as possible." Good answer.

772 minutes. The candidates are asked why labor unions are good, which is like asking a Chicago Bears fan to praise Aaron Rodgers. Romney says they train workers well. Santorum says they can bring communities together.

776 minutes. Commercial break. Hope the popcorn is ready. You are really a trooper. Democracy should not be this trying. But it is.

780 minutes. We are back. Why is it that most of what matters in a debate either happens in the first 15 minutes or the last five? That's a rhetorical question. But there is a right answer: They are too long.

781 minutes. Gingrich is asked about an absurd comment that Romney made: That young people will have jobs if he gets elected, but not if Obama wins reelection. "I think that's a statement of fact," Gingrich says.

782 minutes. This gives Romney a chance to respond, once again, to the bell. "I don't blame him for the recession and for the decline," Romney says of Obama. "What I blame him for is having it go on so long and going so deep and having a recovery that's been so tepid."

783 minutes. The candidates talk about natural gas, the EPA, the motto of New Hampshire, the prescription drug benefit, power plant emissions, and other things, without making any news, or breaking any new ground.

792 minutes. Final break.

795 minutes. Home stretch. Gregory asks Gingrich and Romney to talk about the Super PACs supporting them. They are both asked to disown the PACs efforts, and both decline. Romney gets twisted up. "With regards to their ads, I haven't seen them. And, as you know, under the law, I can't direct their ads," he says of his own PAC. The second part is true. The first part is almost certainly not. A few moments later, Romney lays out the factual details of the ad he claims to have never seen. This is sort of damning. But really, who is paying attention at this point. It's about 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning, at the end of the 15th GOP presidential debate. Anyone not being paid to keep up with this stuff, who is still keeping up with this stuff, should get a prize.

804 minutes. It's over. It's done. 804 minutes later. You are free. Until next week in South Carolina, when it all starts again. And there is no prize.

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