Manchurian columnist outed at last <nbsp/><nbsp/>

(PNI) The conspiracy buffs are on to me.

According to recent phone messages, e-mails and blog comments, I've apparently spent decades hiding my true identity, which one reader sneeringly referred to as "a right-wing plant."

A mole.

A "lefty" in disguise, recruited in the late 1970s and nurtured within The Arizona Republic as a journalistic sleeper cell, projecting an image of independence but actually under the control of the Freemasons, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Illuminati or perhaps even the Republican Party.

I'm not sure if readers figured this out for themselves or if someone within the news operation (Are you reading this, Clay Thompson?) ratted me out.

It would appear I've managed to avoid disclosure by writing a steady stream of seemingly critical, sarcastic and even grossly unfair columns about individuals such as the late Gov. Evan Mecham, Sen. John McCain, Gov. Jan Brewer, former state Senate President and de facto governor Russell Pearce, Sheriff Joe Arpaio and many, many others.

Ostensibly, I did all this in order to solidify my nefarious "cover" while waiting for just the right moment to spring forward with a column or Internet blog that would support the views of my sinister controllers.

I did just that early this week, I'm told, when I wrote something for azcentral.com defending Maricopa County Recorder Helen Purcell and Elections Director Karen Osborne.

I said Purcell and Osborne were not trying to disenfranchise minority citizens.

I said they were not part of some villainous voter-suppression scheme.

I wrote, "These two women have done the work of running elections in the county for years. They are known as the straightest of straight shooters."

That claim, allegedly, was my undoing.

Purcell has come under fire from local community activists for having made a few errors.

The organization Citizens for a Better Arizona wants Secretary of State Ken Bennett to investigate those mistakes, saying in a statement, "The one thing citizens should be able to rely on from the County Recorder's Office is the correct date for the election.

"If citizens followed the instructions on the bookmark passed out at public libraries, they would in fact be denied their right to vote by showing up two days too late. This is unacceptable. Helen Purcell can and should do more to set the record straight."

Rachel Maddow of MSNBC declared Purcell's actions a "dark political art."

Actually, it's more comical than dark.

The county printed the incorrect general-election date in Spanish (saying it was Nov. 8 rather than Nov. 6) on what amounted to fewer than 50 documents containing voter-identification cards.

Then, they made the same mistake on the Spanish-language side of 2,000 or so bookmarks.

Would someone conspiring to get Spanish-speaking voters to miss the election do so by way of bookmarks?

As if voters would not hear about the correct date from TV, radio, newspapers, friends, relatives and a million other sources?

Purcell issued a statement that said in part, "Concerning the regrettable error on the Spanish-language voter ID and bookmark: I wish I could say we never made a mistake in this office. But we do.

"However, the suggestion that this office would be a party to a dark conspiracy to depress voter turnout among any constituency or ethnic group is contrary to the history, the commitment and ideals of this office, my staff and my life's work. It is simply a malicious lie."

I agree.

But this is election season. It's difficult for people who have been bombarded with negative campaign ads and nasty political accusations to believe in "innocent" mistakes.

So, more than one reader expressed "shock" that I would defend Purcell. A few others were "disappointed." And several spoke of my having gone "to the dark side."

Reader John Gallagher summed it up, writing, "Here's my conspiracy theory: the AZ Republic hires 'house liberals' like E.J. Montini and Linda Valdez so they don't have to hire real liberals."

Clearly, the cat is out of the bag.

The jig is up.

The moon landing was faked. Elvis is alive. Oswald didn't act alone.

And the "tri" in Trilateral Commission refers to Helen Purcell, Karen Osborne and me.

Reach Montini at 602-444-8978 or ed.montini@arizonarepublic.com.

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